In judgment, there’s an element of dissatisfaction with the way things are and a desire to have things be the way we want them to be.
Have you done this?
You saw someone, and based on their looks or actions, pass judgment on them. Usually without even knowing the person. We don’t make an effort to get to know the person, or understand them, or see whether our judgment was right or not.
What happens when we pass judgment on people we do know? We see something they do, and get angry at it, or disappointed in the person, or think worse of them. We judge, without understanding. And that’s the end of it — we don’t try to find out more.
I'm guilty of both scenarios and embarking myself on the journey towards nonjudgmentality. Its not an easy one. I have to remind myself everyday to try and understand people and the reasons behind the things they do.
With age, experience and the more people i meet, i find that there is always a reason behind things people do and no matter how terrible as a person they are, there is always good in them. And i choose to see the good side. But of course, doing this sometimes hurts me a lot because i tend to give people too many chances. But that's life isn't it. Behind everyone, there is always an interesting story and things we can learn from them.
Everyone have their own beliefs and life principles. I think its not fair to force our beliefs, opinion or things we think are right down their throat. We give advice but the decision is theirs to make. In the end, they are the ones who have to live with it and not us. Its their life to live.
I have my fair share of being judged too. I'm too sexy, i played too hard to get, too high demand, too 'social' because i seemed to 'party too much' and not a good person because i went clubbing. And ooh, all that came from one person. I don't know what is his problem with me but I think he made it his personal mission to change me. Oh well, good luck in trying.
Well anyway, its really a blessing in life to have family and friends who are non-judgmental and despite your weaknesses, flaws, shortcomings, failures and mistakes, accepted and loved you for you who really are. These people are the only ones that mattered.
Wanted to embark on this journey to nonjudgmentality? Try this DUAL method i found on the net.
Don’t pass judgment. If you find yourself being judgmental, stop yourself. This takes a greater awareness than we usually have, so the first step (and an important one) is to observe your thoughts for a few days, trying to notice when you’re being judgmental. This can be a difficult step. Remind yourself to observe.
Understand. Instead of judging someone for what he’s done or how he looks, try instead to understand the person. Put yourself in their shoes. Try to imagine their background, the circumstances that might have led to the person acting or looking like they do. If possible, talk to them. Find out their backstory. Everyone has one. If not, try to imagine
Accept. Once you begin to understand, or at least think you kind of understand, try to accept. Accept that person for who he is, without trying to change him. Accept that he will act the way he does, without wanting him to change. The world is what it is, and as much as you try, you can only change a little bit of it. It will continue to be as it is long after you’re gone. Accept that, because otherwise, you’re in for a world of frustration.
Love. Once you’ve accepted someone for who he is, try to love him. Even if you don’t know him. Even if you’ve hated him in the past. Love him as a brother, or love her as a sister, no matter who they are, old or young, light skinned or dark, male or female, rich or poor.
Let us try to be less jugdmental and more loving instead, shall we?
source: http://zenhabits.net/a-simple-method-to-avoid-being-judgmental-yes-that-means-you/
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