Jelly Belli

Damn I hate that question so much. Your education plan, your career plan, your relationship plan. Why do we always have to have a plan? Why can't I just live day to day and savour every moment while I'm at it?  We live in a society that pushes you to strive for success and excellence.  To always think of the next big step to make more money, to be more successful, to be better than others. It's not a bad thing but not everyone define success and excellence similarly.  Why can't success be defined by your manners, kindness, lovingness and humanity? I think most people spend so much time on their future they forget to live in the present. Well it's good to plan so you know where you should be heading but most of the time, things never go as they are planned. But it's not the be all and end all. Plan to be forever with this person but got dumped in the next few months? Checked.  Plan to save money up for something you have always wanted and somet

I have a confession to make. I have this secret wish to date a hunky good looking guy because I want to know how does it feel like.  Will it give me an ego boost?  Shallow I know but admittedly, I'm curious.  Whenever I see a hunky personal trainer, I'll think to myself,  "What is it like to be friends with hunks like that?!" or more accurately  "What is it like to have a boyfriend like that?!" I think it'll be like "Hey guys, look at my hunky boyfriend." and I'll imagine the girls will be like  "Omg Cyn. Where do you snatch him? How did you get him?!"  Nampak tak imaginasi agak keterlaluan disitu? So one day, I struck lucky and dated a hunky personal trainer who owned a superbike. Honestly, I only agreed because of his physique and that bike.  Lethal combination.  Gosh, I can't believe I'm so shallow.  But why not right? Just for the sake of it. So ya, I agreed. At that time I thought I had hit

The society that we live in today viewed the idea of being alone as something we should avoid at all costs.  Women who are alone, who live alone after a certain age, who aren't partnered, are pathetic. A lot of people are scared of being alone.  Not me, I crave for it and I love my own company.  I'm good at being alone, it's one of the things I like about myself. Aloneness is not only something I'm not uncomfortable with, it's something that I crave and needed on daily basis.  As I get older, all the crowds, hustle and bustle tend to drain my energy.  Although I like socializing and be with people around me, having someone to talk to, at the end of the day, I needed my alone time.  A time to be in my own thoughts, a time for me to recharge.  The other day my colleague was horrified when I told her I like to go for teatimes alone in the pastry or coffee shops.  I like to sit and read, people watch while accompanied by a cup of tea and a slice of

This picture was taken 15 years ago in Genting. It was a last minute trip on the weekends. My late father was a disciplinarian and a very strict man but also was goofy and funny. A man with few words and we used to be very scared of him. I remembered when we were little, he will chase us with hangers if we were naughty and rebellious but of course he never hit us. I vividly remembered he bought us money banks and taught us to save money everyday. He was the one who gave me a notebook and encouraged me to keep a diary, which I still do until today.  He is a man who has touched the life and hearts of many I remembered how we kissed him before he went off to work. He always like to ask us to "cabut bulu", pluck his facial hairs and its something we used to dread. I remembered how my sister, Caroline did facial and put mask on his face, just like in the salon.   The best memory I had of my late father was our bedtime story sessions. It is always something my siblings an

You know how I am very generous with my smile and smiled at almost everyone I came across? Sometimes even if they did not return the smile back. I always do this little experiment and noticed that when you smile at a sales person or waiter/waitress, you get treated better. So today, after work, I hit the gym and the front desk guy greeted me and asked how's my work today. Mr forlorn-looking trainer was standing next to him and I smiled at him. Pasal gym lagi...aduiii,macam tiada life saja kau ni Cyn. But yeah, that's my life now and I'm happy doing it. hehe. So anyway, this Mr trainer was one of those who always gave me a reluctant smile but lately he became friendlier. He saw the badge on my work clothes and talked to me for the first time  "Oh, you work in so and so? Boleh lah dapat diskaun ni kan?" When I was done with my workouts, he came and talked to me and ask lots of things about supplements, proteins and stuff. Then he was saying "I saw y

Have you noticed that by doing something very simple can make a very big difference? So does saying someone's name. How do you feel when someone said your name? I know it made me feel strange in the first place, like how does this stranger know my name? Then slowly I felt special because this person made the effort to know my name, remembered it and say it out loud.  It is an effective ice-breaker because immediately I see them as a friend instead of just a stranger. It is heart-warming when they say my name because they see me as Cynthia and not just another customer or stranger on the street. The attention is personal. They really get my attention and I tend to remember them. It is a sure-fire way to make someone feel special. I know it works on me.  Read THIS on saying people's name.  One of the staff in the gym always greet me by my name and I ended up dating him for a few months. (Duuhh..Cynthia, you are so easily pleased). And it is from him that I learned the

The first thing that attracts me is his smile, not the abs. Cross my heart and hope to die.  "Dari gaya kau, for someone like you, mesti kau ni high taste kan? Mesti lelaki yang handsome saja kau pandang." I get this a lot. Selain kena cakap jual mahal, saya selalu dituduh high taste. For someone like me (what does that even mean?!?), haruskah saya high taste?  I've written about how I prefer someone average looking than someone universally handsome and hot HERE . It is natural that we humans are attracted to something that is pleasing to the eyes but it's just that, something for the eyes. What matters to me the most is the heart.  Friends who have seen guys I dated would agree that I don't prioritize looks. Some even said  "I don't know why you are with this guy. He's not even good-looking." To others he might not be good-looking but to me he is and he has got something that others don't. So what is it that someone like me f

The other day in the gym while waiting for zumba to start, I was talking to this new girl (Tiada tempat lain ka Cyn selain gym? Unfortunately gym is the only place I socialize). When she heard that I'm a Sarawakian, the first thing she said was  "I heard in Sarawak, Malay can eat in a Chinese shop without issues." Then the other day, my colleague, an Indian, was telling me her cousin went to Sibu and was surprised to see Malay eating in a Chinese shop without problem. Then she ask me  "Is it true?" Aahhhh..here comes my favourite part.  "Of course it is true!" and I go into lengthy explanation about how people in Sarawak respect each other, how people of different race and religion can sit in one table and eat without any issues because we all know what we can or can't eat and we respect that.  It's sadly very different here in peninsular where most people are sensitive and intolerant, have strong sense of entitlement and demande

I've always had hair problem. My hair is very fine, thinning day by day and my scalp is super oily. I cannot go a day without washing my hair and lost a lot of hair everyday. Macam magik jugala saya belum botak sekarang. I envy those with thick and healthy hair. Tapi apakan daya, diri ini ditakdirkan berambut halus.  My sister shared an article the other day about hair treatment using apple cider vinegar which I find very interesting. Read it HERE Apple cider vinegar (ACV) has long been known to have many health benefits. I used to take it with a glass of water first thing in the morning to help with my weight back when I was a bit chubby. I stopped when I had a reaaallllyyy bad gastric, vomitting, fever and I had to be given drip in the health centre.  Anyway, I didn't know ACV does wonders to the hair too until I came across the article. Did some research and found out that it really helps with hair fall and hair growth. It balances the scalp's pH and removes che

The other day while I was home, I was watching this travel & living channel and something they say in the show strike me and got me thinking. what is the craziest thing you have done in your life? When I glanced through my life, it's probably quite normal, typical and predictable. But when I really think about it, I actually did some pretty crazy things. Although what you consider crazy might differ according to individuals. What I consider crazy is something that is out of my character, out of my normality. The craziest craziest thing I ever did probably was our bikinication in Phuket . I probably didn't do a lot of crazy things if it were not for my PIC. We went to a strip club and watched tiger show. Eye-opener I would say. On the same night, went into a gay bar and saw some obscene things. Even bigger eye-opener.  There was a time when I was a party girl. It's my party girl phase. I would party every week, weekdays even. Clubs, friends private parties, conc

I always look forward to my off days and I will always schedule it on days that I can go to the gym.  So what happened on my precious one day away from work? I slept in but noticed that I could no longer sleep beyond 10am. Mantop la. There was a time when I didn't get up until pass 11am! I settled things that needed to be done i.e laundry, bill paying, post office etc. Got back home for lunch. Today was extra ambitious because I cook. Well, it's actually because it's fasting month. it's quite a hassle for me to eat outside because people think I'm Malay and gave me that oi-tak-puasa-ke look whenever I eat in public.  Went on the net, updated the blog before going off to the gym in the evening. On non-fasting month, I would go to the mall for lunch while people watching and then had cake and tea for teatime while reading a book.  A cup of tea/coffee, a slice of cake and a good book. That's what I call a perfect day So there I was at the gym and t

People often remarked I don't look my age. They would always think I'm in my early twenties. How flattering. I'm in fact nearing 30. To tell you the truth, I don't feel like I'm nearing 30 at all. I still feel I'm in my early twenties. Maybe that's the secret huh? It's all in your mind and truth be told, my body might be 30 but my spirit and my soul is way younger than that. When I was still doing my studies, they will always say "Oh probably because you are still studying and not working yet. You know how when people who have worked tend to look more matured bla bla bla." I"m already working now and just the other day someone thought I'm 21! You know about the saying that says you are what you eat? Lately, I ate a lot of instant food/foods with preservative because I usually got home late at night. Too late and too tired to cook so I depended on cereals and instant noodles. Not the best of foods. Preservatives = preserving