Law Of Customer Puaka

Dalam dunia ni ada banyak jenis law. Contohnya:

Law of Muprhy - Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
Law of Attraction - "like attracts like"

Dan banyak lagi la uols. nak cerita sampai tahun depan pun tak habis. Tapi pernah tak uols dengar Law of Customer Puaka?

Mesti tak kan?

Law of Customer Puaka ini merujuk kepada sesuatu pattern yang sering dilakukan oleh customer puaka dalam bidang retail tidak kira apa jenis product sekalipun.

Law No.1 - The best time to go in is when the staff is eating

Uols bayangkan, dari kedai bukak sampai lah pukul 3pm, uols tak makan lagi sebab tunggu customer masuk. Tapi habuk pun tarak. Maka 3.10pm, uols pun nak makan sebab lapar and memang takde orang.

Uols pun keluarkan lah nasi campur breakfast/lunch/dinner yang telah berendam kuah sejak 11am, dengan harapan ingin makan dengan aman.

Tiba-tiba, 3.11pm berduyun-duyun pulak orang masuk.

KENAPA TAK NAK MASUK 2.59pm TADI HA??!!!!!

Makanya nasik anda terus berendam hingga lemas sampai ke malam.

Memang puaka.

Law No. 2 - The best time to go in is when the staff is doing paperwork

Situasi sama seperti di atas. Uols dah tunggu customers sepanjang hari tapi lalat pun ngak sudi mampir.

Sebab uols pekerja contoh maka uols tak nak makan gaji buta. lalu uols pun start nak buat paperwork, update report, file etc.

Baru uols nak pegang pen and calculator, time tu jugak diorang masuk tanpa teraga-agak.

Agak puaka di situ.

Law No.3 - The best time to go in is 5 minutes before closing

Ini memang paling puaka. terpuaka antara semua puaka.

The mall is open from 10am-10pm for a freaking 12 hours everyday and you chose 9.55pm to come into the shop?!?!?

takpe la kan kalau diorang dah tau apa diorang nak beli. Just pay and go.

Tapi kebanyakkanya puaka, time ni jugaklah nak consultation then undecided.

"hmm hmmm hmmm should i buy ah?"

"Hmm hmmm which one better ah?"

"Hmm darling, what do you think?"

10.25pm - "Emm it's okaylah, I think first ya."

Zaaassss. Bagus kena panah petir ja orang macam ni.

Law No.4 - Customers have more product knowledge than you

Uols pekerja setia company untuk 10 tahun. Pendek kata semua jenis produk, info, harga even produk unit number pun uols hafal.

Tiba-tiba suatu hari masuk sorang customer mencari produk XX.

"Oh no sir. we did not carry this product"

"NOOOOOO. I bought it here last time!"

"Are you sure sir? Because I've work here 10 years and never see this product"

"ARE YOU SURE?! I bought it HERE!"

Who work here? me or you? PUAKA

Law No.5 - Your store is the best place for your child to learn

Memang lah tugas weols pastikan kedai sentiasa bersih dan kemas tapi tidak bermaksud uols patut biarkan anak-anak kecik uols explore their creativity and talent by rearranging EVERYTHING and expecting us to tidy it up later.

Mana tanggungjawab uols sebagai ibu bapa dalam mendisiplinkan anak?

Jangan pandai buat je okay uolsss.

Law No.6 - We are your personal CLEANER

Memang tidak salah uols nak masuk kedai bawak air Chatime la Boost la Starbucks la, teh ais kurang manis ikat tepi la.

Tapi yang salahnya bila uols tumpahkan, uols expect weols bersihkan. Bila uols dah habiskan, uols expect weols tolong buang untuk uols.

Tong sampah kan ada kat luar?

Puaka betul.

Law No.7 - You can harass the staff about the price

WE DID NOT SET THE PRICE. So no matter how much you harass or complaint about the price, we can't do anything. In fact, we are more powerless than you.

Law No. 8 - You can be rude/mean because customer is always right

MY ASS.

My faith in humanity died when I started working retail. Ternyata ramai yang bersikap sangat biadap dan puaka terhadap sesama manusia just because you think that person is beneath you.

Kalau nak cerita pasal customer yang kurang ajar, bodoh sombong memang sampai bila-bila pun tak habis.

I've learnt that to deal with these people, is to just smile and pretend that you are deaf.

Pekerja retail sekalian, what else do you think should be added to this Law of Customer Puaka?

Read THIS for something very relatable.

I got asked this EVERYDAY. The price is at the back. ARE YOU BLIND?

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