Cik Panda Insan Yang Lemah

Woww. Lemah iman ai. Okay ini sekadar gambar hiasan.

Walaupun segojes-mojes mana pun Cik Panda, high level of kelacuran, berapa ramai pilihan di hujung jari pun, Cik Panda tetap insan biasa yang hatinya sering dilukai. 

Gituuuuuu

Pernah tak uols suka kat seseorang and orang tu pun suka kat uols?

Iols tak pernah.

hahaha. Okay itu tipu. 

But you know what I mean la kan. It hurts when you think you connected with someone and you think you like them but they did not think the same.

And when this happened over and over again, you will start to doubt yourself and think there must be something wrong with yourself. 

So wrong that you drive people away.

Am I that ugly? Or am I that boring that I can't make people stay?

Need help getting over unrequited love/broken heart? Reading THIS might help

People come and go in my life. Some stay, some go but one day came back and stay.

And these are the ones that I truly appreciate.

Among all the guys that I dated, this one sticks through thick and thin. H is what all my friends would say not-the-guy-to-get-involved-with. He was too young for me, of different religion, college dropout, was involved with gangs and drugs, his life was complicated and couldn't offer me anything!

And yet he offered me everything I needed.

We share few amazing months together where we do silly, memorable things. He treated me like how every girl should be treated, with love, respect and kindness. Did his best to make me happy and wanted nothing except my companionship.

We broke off and I cut off contact. We reconnected few months later and talked once in a while but he remained one of the people I talked to when I needed someone, when I have guy problems or when I needed someone to fetch me from the airport or when I needed help to move house.

We became good friends. In fact he is someone who is always there for me.

So the other day, we were on the phone and I was telling him I was sad because of another rejection. And he said

"kenapa you nak sedih? Dia yang rugi sebab dia tak nak kenal you, tak nak kawan dengan you. They didn't have the privilege to know you like how I know you. To fall in love with your smile like I do. I never regret the moment I decided to befriend you. It was the best decision. It's his loss he can't see what is in front of him and it was my mistake letting you go few years ago."

Sometimes I wish I can see myself through his eyes.

When I looked into the mirror, I see crooked yellow teeth but he all he see is a beautiful smile. 

Or when I see so many flaws and imperfections in myself, all he see is a perfectly imperfect person worthy of all the love in the world.

I guess it's true you don't need a lot of people in this life. You just need the right person, those who see what a wreck you can be and yet choose to stay.

If we still love each other then why don't we get back together you say? 

Sayang atau cinta tidak seharusnya memiliki gitu kan. Sometimes some relationships are better when it's not romantic.