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Kalau Clingy Bagus Jadi Cicak


So I asked on FB what topic that might interest my readers and the answers I got were very stimulating.

 Buttcrack. Ketiak. Survival guide in dessert etc.

 I'm not qualified or experienced enough to write about those things. Hehe

 Drugs, sex and heartbreak. I wish I can but my mum is one of my reader. I might give her a heart attack.

 So I met this guy on Tinder (where else?). He was sado so I swiped right. We exchanged phone number, texted for few days and asked my permission to call me one day.

 So he did, and the night after, and the next night, and few more nights after.

 He said he like talking to me, love to hear my voice and must hear it everyday (RED FLAG).

 Well, we got along quite fine initially and find there's a lot of things to talk about. Then he started to get quite needy, calling me "sayang", said he thinks he has fallen for me, want a relationship, worried that I might not like him as much as he liked me, can't help but fall for me etc. 

 On the fourth night, he said "I LOVE YOU"

 WHAT?!!???

 We have not met yet and only talked on the phone less than a week. 

 Can you imagine how creepy that is? Cik Pah cakap PSYCHO punya orang.

 Kalau I ni Cik Panda yang dulu, mesti I dah jatuh hati, tangkap cintan bagai. Homaigawdddd so sweet mamat ni call I setiap malam, panggil I sayang, cakap I love you kat I, WhatsApp I 24/7, tanya I kat mana, buat apa, makan apa.

 Tapi ni Cik Panda versi upgraded. Penuh pengalaman dan tips dalam menangani lelaki. Gituuuuhhhh.

 So Cik Panda sound dia setepek

 "You, there is a difference in loving the idea of someone and actually loving them. Or loving the idea of love."

 "I tak faham maksud you. It's too deep." Duhhhh..susah betul lah. Then I explained again. 

 He was talking about long distance relationship as he's going to go back for good to JB soon. Kena sound setepek lagi dengan Cik Panda

 "For your information, I don't prefer long distance relationship because I ni jenis yang manja (gituuuuuuu), and I nak someone yang boleh teman I jalan2, tengok movie, dating. Plus, I ni kalau part relationship, I take it slow and easy. I prefer nak kenal orang tu dulu, tau kelebihan, kekurangan dia, tengok serasi tak baru lah fikir nak go into relationship ke tak."

 "I know I know tapi I can't help it. I know I should control my feelings."

 Aishhh. Macam Cik Panda pulak lelaki dalam cerita ni.

 Lama-lama Cik Panda rasa annoying sebab tiap masa nak mesej, ada sekali tu I cakap I nak masak, mandi, makan, dia macam tak faham, mesej lagi, bila lambat reply, call pulak. 

 He insisted on seeing me before he go back. So on Monday, he came and see me at my work place (because I'm always working remember, plus I must let my bodyguards see him and give their approvals). 

 So he did come. Sado memang sado tapi hmmmm.....
He was wearing a shirt like this. Cik Panda tau la you baru balik dari gym, badan sado tapi pemakaian sebegini ketika berjumpa si gadis kali pertama adalah GAI/lame pada pandangan Cik Panda

"I'm sorry I can't go out for a drink with you because I can't leave my colleague alone. I pun tak makan lagi and I actually takde break time."

 "Ala. Takpe la. I tunggu you habis kerja. Kita dinner"

 "Tak bolehhh. Esok I kena kerja awal. before 8 I dah kena masuk kerja then habis kerja pukul 10. I nak rehat and tido awal."

 Masih lagi dia try memujuk. Cik Pah dah jeling-jeling bagi signal kat Cik Panda. Then tiba2 I busy, biarkan dia berdiri luar tunggu I setengah jam. Dia mesej bagitau nak pergi cari makanan. Bila dah tak busy, tengok dia masih lagi terpacak kat luar, pegang plastik bakery.

 Sembang sekejap then dia balik.

 Cik Pah cakap "Tak payah yang, tak payah. Tu macam muka sangap je."

 Here's my take.

 I'm a bit particular about dressing. You don't have to be very stylish but at least you dressed appropriately or presentable. You only have one chance at making a good first impression.

 Secondly, I was telling him I have not eaten and I don't have break time. And he was buying something from the bakery, for himself only. A thoughtful person or a guy trying to impress a girl would at least thought of buying me something to eat. 

 Thirdly, he's so clingy and needy. He texted me good morning and asked did I miss him today. Cik Panda rimas tau tak rimas? Ingat perempuan je clingy and needy, lelaki pun sama. Either way, being clingy is unattractive. 

Aishhhh jadi buruk pun susah, jadi cantik pun susah. eh???

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