Girls Talk : Love and Relationship

     There are a few of my lovely ladies who are going through some tough times right now. While I’m not an expert in love and relationship, I’ve been there and done that. I know how hellish it felt. It’s worse than anything you have ever experienced. Some days you feel you are better off dead. I know how emotionally draining it is, how you keep on blaming yourself and asking why. I understand what you went through. No one says it’s easy but it’s not impossible. I came up fine you see, probably became an even better person than I was before. 

How do I cope? Thank God I have a strong support system. I have friends, near and far, I can talk to when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I have endless prayers from those who truly cared about me. At times like this, you’ll realize how important friends and family are and how they never leave you. Turn to God and pray. He definitely knows what is best. People say things happen for a reason. It’s also true that sometimes we can never understand what the reasons are but we’ve got to believe in something. Universe has this unique way of making things work out beautifully for you. Have a little faith.

It’s natural to feel like you wanted to lock yourself up in the room and never want to go out for eternity. Cry when you feel like it but after that, pick yourself up and go on living. Try to keep yourself busy and so occupied that you don’t have time to think about anything else. Avoid spending time alone. Find a new hobby, join a dance class. Get involved in the society and meet new people. Although it is tempting to hook up with any guy who’s willing just so you can make your ex jealous or just to fill in that emptiness and loneliness, it’s just going to backfire and hurt you instead. It’s best to be alone for a while. Rediscover yourself. Learn to love yourself again. In most relationships, girls tend to sacrifice too much and lose themselves in order to accommodate and please their other half. 

Our society has this crazy idea about relationship. People determine you self worth based on your relationship status. If you are single, you are a LOSER. Most girls prioritize relationship that they lived for it. They are not happy when they are single and their life won’t be complete unless they are in a relationship. It’s so sad to see how someone would compromise so much of themself, settle for so much less than they are worth, just for the sake of being in a relationship. It does not matter that they are taken for granted, being treated badly, verbally sometimes physically abused, all in the name of “LOVE”. Girls have this insane idea about changing guys.

 “Maybe if I loved him more, sacrifice everything, he’ll see that I love him and he’ll change his ways.” 

Most guys don’t change and you don’t go into a relationship hoping to change someone. Sometimes I think we girls are taught the wrong way to love a guy. We tend to smother and suffocate them, over-compensate on everything we do for them. We stop doing what we loved, we stop pursuing our dreams, stopped seeing friends and family we cared about just to spend more time with them. After all that you have done, when the relationship ends, you are resentful and say 

“This is what I get after all that I’ve done for you?”

Did they ask you to do that? Most probably not. Blame it on the way we think how we should love someone. 

One of the best self-help books I’ve read for girls is “Why Men Love Bitches”. You’ll be reading this book and nodding and smacking yourself on the head realizing where you went wrong. While I’ve post an entry about this book previously, I did not share some of the tips. Will do so in the next post and read on how to be AWESOME.

At the mean time, keep your head up princess, otherwise the crown will fall :)