Skip to main content

Goodbye For Now Dear Friend, We Shall Meet Again.


I don't really share about my personal life but today, I lost a dear friend.

You know that kind of person that never really leave your life? 

That friend that no matter what happens, will always gravitate back into your life especially when you are having a hard time?

That kind of friend that says they miss you and then googled your name to see what picture of you that might come up?

Yes, he is that kind of friend. And now he has left me for good.

Our path first crossed many-many years ago, at a time when I was at my lowest. 

We were from a different world. Mine was rose-tinted, safe, and secure. While his world was shadier and truly complicated. 

Our personality was also of the polar opposite. I was the serious and disciplined type and he is free-spirited, just kinda breezing through life. Carefree, funny, and a soft-spoken guy.

Sometimes things just clicked.

7 years ago, we dated briefly and in that short time, I learned so much about life outside of my bubble. Of all the guys I dated, he is the only one that remained a good friend to me up until now.

I did mentioned him a few times in this blog. Most notably this one post.

I'm gonna repost these words from him over and over again.

"kenapa you nak sedih? Dia yang rugi sebab dia tak nak kenal you, tak nak kawan dengan you. They didn't have the privilege to know you like how I know you. To fall in love with your smile like I do. I never regret the moment I decided to befriend you. It was the best decision. It's his loss he can't see what is in front of him and it was my mistake letting you go a few years ago."

There was one time I had a birthday party and I remembered clearly how excited he was helping me to organize it and bought me a birthday cake.

Of course, throughout the years, because of life and relationships, we lost contact. But no matter what, somehow he will always gravitate back into my life. 

I remembered one time after so long of not speaking to each other, he called me and told me he was at the hospital looking after his father. And not long after that, informed me that his father had passed away.

I know this is a big deal because he always looked up to his father and adored him. 

2016, gerai tepi jalan changkat

He was a good listener and motivator. The kind of person that you will feel so much better after talking to him, that understands instead of judging you. He just accepts you truly for who you are.

I was feeling a bit upset just recently and reached out to him. 

"I doakan you baik baik sentiasa. Segala kebaikan dalam dunia ni bersama you sampai kiamat. You jangan sedih-sedih tau, nanti tak cantik. You have to be strong, I know you are. I pun sedih jugak lately. Nasib baik ada kawan-kawan."

I'm gonna read and re-read these last few messages from him whenever I needed a reminder.

He had a sports injury about 3 months ago and was also telling me he might be experiencing some depression/anxiety. 

I don't know. I wish I could do more than just offering words of encouragement.

The last we communicated was 9 days ago. If only I knew. If only I knew he would be gone so soon, I would have asked him how is he holding up.

Too late, too little. 

It was a self-accident. Looking at the pictures sent to me, it seems like a simple fall from the bike and just minor cuts on his foot. But apparently, the internal head injury was so severe he had to be put on a ventilator.

And he passed away today, 12/7/2021. Exactly one month to his 30th birthday. 

Time and time again, I'm reminded how fragile and short life is. How one person can be talking and laughing with you this morning and gone the next day.

I accept wholeheartedly that we all will die someday and it's not something that I fear but every time it happens to someone dear to me, it still affects me. A lot. 

I guess it serves as a reminder to treat all your loved ones kindly as if today is their last day because it might be. It reminds me to always tell my loved ones how much they mean to me. 

When I thought of him and start feeling sad, in my head I know what he will say to me, clear as day in that jovial nature

"You jangan sedih-sedih tau, nanti tak cantik. Jangan risau pasal I, I okay je."

HJ, thank you for being a good friend to me all these years. You will always have a special place in my heart. Rest in peace now and I believe you are in a better place united with your father. Until we meet again...

Labels:

Comments

  1. PHJuly 12, 2021 at 11:26 PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. May your friend's soul rest in peace.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cyn WilsonJuly 13, 2021 at 12:34 AM

    Hi PH, thank you so much

    ReplyDelete
  3. NoraGK81July 13, 2021 at 3:46 AM

    I'm sorry for your loss.
    May his soul rest in peace 🙏🏻 🙏🏻 🙏🏻

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Others Also Read This!

5 Produk Kurus Di Watsons: Jom Kita Review Bahan- Bahan Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk

5 Produk Kurus Di Watsons: Jom Kita Review Bahan- Bahan Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk   Adakah anda antara orang yang pernah beli produk kurus sebab terpengaruh dengan iklan atau testimoni kawan-kawan? Beli tapi kenapa ya tak kurus-kurus?  Okay takpa sis, kita try pulak produk lain. Produk X ni orang cakap bagus, maka korang pun terpengaruh lepas tu beli lepas tu tak nampak result. Frustrating kan? Badan tak kurus pun, yang kurus tu dompet uols je. Produk kurus memang sentiasa laku sepanjang zaman. Kat mana-mana pun ada jual, banyak sangat kat pasaran.  Tapi macam mana kita nak tau yang mana okay, yang mana tak okay dan bazir duit je nak beli? Ha, kenalah jadi pengguna yang bijak sisturs & brother sekalian. Ambik tahu apa bahan-bahan yang terkandung dalm produk tu, fahami macam mana produk ni membantu untuk menurunkan badan.  Baca:  Kenali Bahan Lazim Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk Kurus Atau Fat Burner Barulah kita tidak senang terpengaruh dengan iklan at...
Post a Comment
Read more

Kulit Sihat Dan Cantik Berseri: 5 Supplement Dan Nutrisi Penting Yang Harus Mencukupi

Kulit Sihat Dan Cantik Berseri: 5 Supplement Dan Nutrisi Penting Yang Harus Mencukupi Image: Aiony Haust, Unsplash Pernah tak kalian mengalami keadaan kulit nampak kusam dan tak bermaya walaupun semua skincare kalian dah cuba? Kulit yang sihat dan cantik berseri bukan sahaja memerlukan penjagaan luar yang rapi seperti penggunaan cleanser, toner, moisturizer dan SPF yang bersesuaian, penjagaan dalaman juga penting tau. Ini kerana, kulit yang berseri adalah  reflection  kepada sistem dalaman badan yang sihat. Pssttt. Tahu tak, kulit merupakan organ yang terbesar pada tubuh badan kita? Diet dan pemakanan memang akan mempengaruhi keadaan kulit dan kulit yang sihat bermula daripada pemakanan yang seimbang. Jom kita lihat 5 supplement dan nutrisi penting untuk kulit sihat dan cantik berseri. 1. Vitamin C C for cantik, C for collagen gituuuu. Vitamin C adalah penting untuk penghasilan kolagen , struktur utama untuk kulit yang anjal dan berseri.  Pengambilan vitamin C yang mencuk...
Post a Comment
Read more

Porn Puaka Di Gym

Tajuk mengundang kontroversi Sis ni bukan apa rajin pergi gym, selain nak bersenam, iols juga suka mencuci mata. Bukan setakat mencuci mata dengan jantan helok (I'm still hoping sebab gym iols pegi tu SENDUU), sis juga suka melihat gegadis yang fefeeling gedik dengan bermacam fesyen di gym tu. Biasanya gegadis newbie ni macam cendawan. Muncul sekejap di kala azam baru masih utuh yakni di awal tahun atau selepas perayaan di mana memasing nak kurus.  Tunggulah 2 bulan kemudian langsung tak nampak batang hidung ataupun buttcheeks. Eh? Sebenarnya salah satu benda Cik Panda nak cerita pasal butt cheeks. Butt cheeks are absolutely NO NO except at the pool or beach when you are in your swimsuit.  Cik Panda tak jealous la uols sebab Cik Panda tak hingin pun nak ada bontot yang jelly welly tu. ZAssssss So hari tu ada sorang minah ni baru 1st time iols nampak kat gym, tengah workout dengan bopren dia la gitu. Pakai sports bra je dengan really short shorts yang menampakkan ...
1 comment
Read more

Indah Khabar Dari Rupa

"I suka tengok IG si anu anu ni. Selalu share parenting tips. Macam family goal." ujar bawang merah sambil dia scroll instagram sorang public figure Malaysia. "Hah!? Siapa? Si anu tuh? huh!!!! I ban mamat tuh!" sampuk si bawang putih.  Kemudian beberapa bebawang kat situ pun mengiyakan statement maut bawang putih. "Ye ye! I pun ban dia tu! So arrogant. Sombong!" ujar si bawang goreng. Kebanyakkan bawang-bawang ni pernah kerja dalam outlet yang sering dikunjungi oleh si  public figure ni  dan sudah tentu pernah  berhadapan dengan dia.     Semua berkongsi pengalaman yang sama, bahawasanya di public, si figure ni sering bermuka masam dan sombong. Tak pernah nak friendly. Mungkin dia ingat sales staff tak setaraf dengan dia. Bawang putih pulak menyambung "Hipokrit betul. Dalam IG dok share-share parenting tips bagai, tapi realiti 2 orang anak dia tu macam anak setan!" wahh marah betul bawang putih. Nak dijadikan cerita, anak-anak...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Beautiful Malacca

St Paul's Church Malacca is probably my third favourite city. My first time visiting this amazing place was when i was 14 for a youth camp and has been visiting Malacca for countless times now. Day trips with friends or families,countless programs and courses over the years. It's probably that few coins i threw into the old well or an empty tomb on St Paul's Hill. Oh you know what they say about throwing coins and you'll come visit that place again someday. I love the old historical buildings, The Stadhuys, the architecture and colours of the building.  I love the food, the vibrancy of the town.  So the other day, my mum and younger sis was in town and we drove down to Malacca for a day trip.  14 years ago, those tall buildings were not there. It's kinda sad that a historical place like this is surrounded by modern malls and hotels. All in the name of progress i guess. The girl who thinks she is a professional dancer... R...
Post a Comment
Read more