Cik Panda Dibelakang Ice Box

After the first date HERE, we met a few days later at a mamak shop after I'm done with gym and he's done with futsal.

As usual, we were laughing and talking. Teasing and flirting is a must when suddenly he said

"You know, you are laughing and joking but deep down I can feel that you are actually sad. Like you are hiding something."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know. It's just that I can feel this vibe from you. I can see it in your eyes that you are sad. You can tell me you know."

Speechless sekejap Cik Panda. I don't know what to say because I don't actually know what makes me sad. It's combination of a lot of things and happenings for the past few months or even years.

Then he asked me "What actually do you want?"

How do I tell him that I'm scared that he will turn out to be like most of the guys I've met, a JERK? You think you found someone you connected with then suddenly they go MIA.

I like being friends with him, working out together and I enjoy the companionship. How do I tell him I'm scared of losing a friend like him? As much as I like my freedom, it's nice to have a companion once in a while.

Or how do I tell him that I'm sad because although there could be a million guys chasing after me but I only want one person and that person is ignoring me?

So I told him this

"I want a partner in crime. You know, someone I can talk to, laugh with, do things with, like a best friend but with that physical attraction. Not boyfriend or that kind of stuff."

"So you want a friend with benefit?"

Noooo. FWB sounds degrading. Actually I'm kinda confused myself. I want all the perks of having a boyfriend but I dread the commitment part, of heartache, stress, anxiety and jealousy.

He gave me a hug and apologized, seeing I was quite upset.

"Why do you apologize? It's not your fault."

"I feel that I need to. And I'm sorry if what I said or did made you sad or made you think I'm like the rest."

He really scares me you know. Because he can see right through the facade that I put up.

We were at the counter paying for our food, and I was ready to pay for mine when he said

"Can I pay it for you?"

Awww. See what I mean? Susahlah Cik Panda macam ni.

And then when I was at the gym locker room, these two girls were talking. One of them is quite young, early twenties and the other probably late twenties. On few occasions, I've often heard this young girl gave another lady advice on boyfriends and I was like

"OMG. you are so young and you are advicing an older person. What do you know about man by the way. Duhhhh."

So they were chit chatting and I could only hear snippets of their conversation

"bla bla..It's a good excuse for shopping. But my boyfriend don't understand."

"ya! I told my boyfriend the other day. bla bla bla.."

"Same! My boyfriend said this and that. bla bla bla bla...."

Cik Panda perlahan-lahan bergerak ke belakang, tutup lampu dan duduk di sudut locker room, dalam gelap sambil mengenang nasib diri....

Comments

Others Also Read This!

Porn Puaka Di Gym

Tajuk mengundang kontroversi Sis ni bukan apa rajin pergi gym, selain nak bersenam, iols juga suka mencuci mata. Bukan setakat mencuci mata dengan jantan helok (I'm still hoping sebab gym iols pegi tu SENDUU), sis juga suka melihat gegadis yang fefeeling gedik dengan bermacam fesyen di gym tu. Biasanya gegadis newbie ni macam cendawan. Muncul sekejap di kala azam baru masih utuh yakni di awal tahun atau selepas perayaan di mana memasing nak kurus. Tunggulah 2 bulan kemudian langsung tak nampak batang hidung ataupun buttcheeks. Eh? Sebenarnya salah satu benda Cik Panda nak cerita pasal butt cheeks. Butt cheeks are absolutely NO NO except at the pool or beach when you are in your swimsuit. Cik Panda tak jealous la uols sebab Cik Panda tak hingin pun nak ada bontot yang jelly welly tu. ZAssssss So hari tu ada sorang minah ni baru 1st time iols nampak kat gym, tengah workout dengan bopren dia la gitu. Pakai sports bra je dengan really short shorts yang menampakkan ...

5 Produk Kurus Di Watsons: Jom Kita Review Bahan- Bahan Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk

5 Produk Kurus Di Watsons: Jom Kita Review Bahan- Bahan Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk Adakah anda antara orang yang pernah beli produk kurus sebab terpengaruh dengan iklan atau testimoni kawan-kawan? Beli tapi kenapa ya tak kurus-kurus? Okay takpa sis, kita try pulak produk lain. Produk X ni orang cakap bagus, maka korang pun terpengaruh lepas tu beli lepas tu tak nampak result. Frustrating kan? Badan tak kurus pun, yang kurus tu dompet uols je. Produk kurus memang sentiasa laku sepanjang zaman. Kat mana-mana pun ada jual, banyak sangat kat pasaran. Tapi macam mana kita nak tau yang mana okay, yang mana tak okay dan bazir duit je nak beli? Ha, kenalah jadi pengguna yang bijak sisturs & brother sekalian. Ambik tahu apa bahan-bahan yang terkandung dalm produk tu, fahami macam mana produk ni membantu untuk menurunkan badan. Baca: Kenali Bahan Lazim Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk Kurus Atau Fat Burner Barulah kita tidak senang terpengaruh dengan iklan at...

Sunlight Suite: Introvert's Heaven In Cameron Highland

Sunlight Suite: Introvert's Heaven In Cameron Highland I told myself I'll not revisit Cameron Highlands since it became so crowded, busy, and overdeveloped in recent years. I might have changed my mind after I found this beautiful hidden gem. Honestly, it really is challenging to find a place that ticks all the boxes for an ideal introvert's getaway in a touristy place like Cameron Highlands. With lots of research, you can and for me, that place is Sunlight Suite . Going on a long weekend, I already mentally prepared myself for the infamous non-moving weekend traffic jam in Cameron Highlands. "Going to Cameron on a long weekend?! You crazy ahh?!" my friend said. But to my surprise, the traffic was pretty smooth. It also helps that I departed quite late from KL (3pm-ish) via Tapah route and reached Sunlight Suite around 7pm. Little English Cottage In The Tropics Moonlight Bungalow Picture credit to https://www.sunlightsuite.com/moonlight-bungalow/ Sunlight...

Superfruit Avocado - Resipi Mudah

Mesti uols pernah makan avocado kan? Buah avocado ni mula digemari ramai sejak kita masuk era "healthy eating". 10 tahun lepas, susah jugak nak jumpa avocado. Sekarang ni, kat Giant pun ada, siap dengan harga mampu milik. Zaman kita baby-baby dulu, mak-mak kita bagi makan bubur nasik kosong je jah. Bertuah anak-anak zaman modern sekarang sebab umo 6 bulan lagi mak dorang dah kasi makan avocado. Iols pun baru belajar makan avocado ni 5 tahun lepas. Itu pun sebab minum jus avocado. Wakakaka. Hari tu ternampaklah ada sorang hakak ni post dalam group MAHN (Masak Apa Hari Ni). Ceritanya baru beli avocado tapi "macam mana nak makan eh benda ni?" Okay. Ramai orang tau avocado tu apa tapi tak ramai yang tau khasiat buah ni dan kenapa ianya adalah superfruit! Ramai jugak yang kurang tahu cara-cara untuk makan buah ni. Meh CPPS nak cerita. Avocado ni unik. Kebanyakkan buah-buahan kaya karbohidrat tetapi avocado kaya dengan lemak yang baik. Seba...

Harmony Valley Retreat Di Janda Baik: Weekend Getaway Yang Mendamaikan

Harmony Valley Retreat Di Janda Baik: Weekend Getaway In Lush Misty Mountain This staycation was what, late last year? Somewhere in November I think, during Deepavali long weekend. Vacation yilek, staycation pun jadilah sis. Personally, I find that staycation is much more relaxing because you don't have to go through the hassle of planning your itinerary. Most of all, you don't have to go through the stress of traveling. Urghhh, few hours to & fro airport, waiting at the airport, the stress and anxiety of going through immigration and such. Just thinking about it makes me tired. #sisaging So anyway, back to Harmony Valley Retreat. You know la, sis ni suka tempat yang aman, back to nature, nyaman sejuk-sejuk. Untuk lari daripada hiruk pikuk kota metropolitan. And Harmony Valley Retreat is just the perfect place to rejuvenate, recharge & relax. Admittedly, the thing that cemented my decision was this review from a customer "So serene & you can hea...

Jelly Belli

Search This Blog