Lelaki Gersang Bernafsu Puaka

Kawan-kawan Cik Panda selalu cakap

"Waaahhh untungla you. Ramai lelaki nak kat you."

Arghhh itu semua ketahian.

Kalau nak kat weols tapi niat tak ikhlas buat apa kan. Kalau tertarik dengan rupa fizikal Cik Panda baik tak payah. Rupa fizikal boleh berubah, esok-esok kalau Cik Panda dah tak gojes mojes mau lagi ke orang tu dengan Cik Panda?

Sedangkan pantai pun berubah, inikan pula hati manusia.

Gituuuuu.

Cik Bear, kawan kepada Cik Meow cakap

"Cik Panda tu memang lah cantik, ada body semua tapi tu lah semua lelaki nak kat dia sebab body dia. ha tu lah buat badan lagi."

Cik Panda buat badan untuk kepuasan diri sendiri uols.

Kepuasan yang macam ni ha

"You can look but you can't touch." katanyaaa

Cik Panda tak boleh la nak halang orang yang tergoda tengok tapi rimas lah iols nak menapis lalat-lalat bernafsu serakah ni.

Sebab tu Cik Panda perlukan bodyguard/gym buddy/boyfriend upahan/tunang upahan.

Gituuuuhhh.

Lepas tu kedengaran suara-suara sumbang

"Haa tu lah. tayang-tayang lagi."

Masalahnya kalau Cik Panda tak tayang pun, kalau pakai tudung litup berjubah, berpurdah bagai, kalau niat dan otak orang tu tak betul, tetap dia imagine dalam kepala dia Cik Panda bogel.

So ada sorang mamat ni dah lama match dengan Cik Panda kat Tinder. Setakat Hi Hi Bye Bye.

Lepas tu tiba-tiba satu hari tu dia text iols

"Hey. You're beautiful."

It's weird isn't it for someone who is not regularly talking to you suddenly bombard you with that supposedly sweet talking?

Ingat Cik Panda ni budak baru belajar ke? I know what you want even before you tell me.

"Can I have your picture?"

"No. I don't give my picture to anyone. Why?"

"Saja la. You're beautiful. Like seriously."

"Biar betul. takda angin takda ribut."

"Hmm. I'm lonely actually. Sorry."

"U lonely ke u horny?" Cik Panda tanya direct jeh

"Haih. I'm sorry. :("

"HA.HA.HA Seriously, did I guess it right?"

"Hm. Sorry. I know u hate it. I'm sorry. U mad at me?"

Cik Panda bagi setepek dengan dia. Guys will always be guys. They want one thing but what makes the difference is how you approach and win a girl's heart.

"I'm sorry, I'm horny now and I don't know why."

"U horny then kenapa cari I?"

"I don't know. I kept on looking on ur tinder profile and imagining u naked u know. I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to. But u are sooo damn hot to me. Seriously. Actually I selalu imagine u are mine but yeah i know it's impossible. But this time I really can't help it. I'm sorry you. I'm really sorry. Pls don't hate me. I wanna be your friend. Can I have your pic?"

"Nope. You ask one more time I might reconsider being your friend. Knp nak sangat gambar I?"

"Hmm. I'm....Ermmm...Hmmm. I wanna watch u while I'm...hmm :("

Cik Panda direct je cakap "U want to masturbate to my pic is it?"

"Haihhh. Sorry you. I'm a fucking idiot."

"Dude, u are so transparent. I can read u like a book. Go watch some porn instead."

"But i don't like porn. I want you. Your body."

"Aishhh. This is getting ridiculous. I'm going to bed. Go find someone else."

"Hmm..I don't want, I want you."

He really is a fucking idiot, isn't he? Macam ini punya orang pun ada.

See the kind of guys I deal with most days. It's like I'm a jerk magnet. Lelaki gersang bernafsu puaka.

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