How do I feel? Like I'm still 25.
On this day that I get older, I could't help but wonder in the years that I have lived, have I made a difference in someone's life? The things that I did or said. Have I spend enough time to be kind to others?
And when the time comes for me to leave, what will people remember of me?
As I edge closer to 30, there are things that I have learned along the way. Things that I wish I could tell my 20 year old self. Trust me, the only thing I regret was the things that I should have done and said.
1. Accept myself as who I really am
Both physically and non-physically. I learned to be more comfortable in my own skin. When I was in my teenage years and early 20's, I wanted to be somebody else but me. I was never pretty or smart enough. I wish I'm like this person or that person. There is always someone prettier or smarter or better than you.
As i get older, I realize the only person I can be better than is the person I was yesterday. I am unique in my own way and there is no one else like me. I stop comparing myself to others. I focus on my strength, accept and make peace with my weaknesses.
2. I can never please everyone
I'm a people pleaser and because of that, I often ignore my heart and made decisions that in the end hurt me. Maybe I wasn't selfish enough.
“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.
I realize I don’t need everyone to agree with me or even like me. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. I learned to speak up, assert myself when I need to and stay true to my values.
And stop caring about what people say about me.
3. Life doesn't turn out the way I planned
When i was younger, i have this crazy mental picture of myself when i reached certain age. I had a life milestone. I plan to get a boyfriend at 20, graduated, got a job and married by 25, have my first child at 26 and then live happily ever after.
Guess what?
None of that really turn out as I planned. Was i disappointed? Maybe a little but I personally believe that God knows things that are best for me. I'm glad certain things happened. Otherwise I wouldn't be where I am now. I have experienced and learnt so many things that I would not be experiencing if my life were to happen according to my plan. I am much happier now and I love the surprises that life throw at me.
4. Being happy is a choice
When i was younger, i used to think that being in a relationship makes you happier. You need someone to make you happy. Without a boyfriend, my life is incomplete. How wrong, shallow and desperate that sounds. Happiness is not attached to things or people. It's in you. You yourself must choose to be happy. I choose to be happy and i choose to be positive.
5. I learned who my true friends are
And those are the people that really matters. People come and go in life and not many stay forever. Some friends were always there in my every journey. Some are like stars, cannot be seen but I know they are there and watching over me. But some people are really in your life to use you. They are only there when they needed something. And it's okay to cut ties with friends like this.
And I'm done chasing people. I believe if they want to stay in your life, they'll do whatever to stay. If they don't want to, nothing you do can make them stay.
6. Things that truly matters
Friends and Family. People that accepts you for who you truly are, support you in whatever decision you make, lifts you up when you are down and shares your happiness with you. And I thank God everyday for these people in my life
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