Guide To First Dates For Dummies

While I'm not exactly an expert in relationships, first dates, and stuff, I've had a few learning experiences and a panel of consultants. 

I feel the need to share with you, especially guys, a few do's and don'ts of a first date. 

Basically to give you some idea of what girls expect on a first date and to save you from embarrassment and disappointments from not securing a second date. 

1. Dress To Impress

DO NOT underestimate the power of dressing. You only have one chance at making a good first impression. 

You don't have to wear something expensive or trendy. Just something tidy, presentable, smart, or casual. Something you are comfortable in. Jeans, a nice shirt and shoes would be fine. 

No short pants, slippers, and ratty t-shirts. If you want to wear shorts, wear them with a shirt (with collar) and shoes instead. Hair should be presentable, facial hairs trimmed and tidy, no bad breath or body odour. 

Use cologne or perfume, if the date went well and you impressed her, she will remember your scent for life. After all, someone is much more attractive if they smelled good. 

Related: Amazing Benefits of Using Perfume

2. Have A Plan

You asked her out therefore you should already know what to do, where to go. Plan what you wanted to do beforehand. 

Impress, surprise and show her a good time. While it's considerate to ask for my opinion on what I wanted to do, it's quite a turn-off for a guy to ask me out then asking me what to do or where to go. 

You should already have it all laid out. For someone my age, I would prefer a quiet night. A meal in someplace nice and cozy, somewhere both of you can chat and get to know each other better. 

A trusted male friend agreed on the same point. It's all about getting to know the other person better. 

Related: Women Don't Like Bad Boys, They Like Take-Charge Men

3. Should You Go Dutch And Share The Cost?

This is quite tricky.

I personally think if you asked her out for the first time, you should be ready to pay for her meals and other things. Unless it's the second, third or 50th date, then it's okay if you both wanted to share the cost.

The first date is all about making an impression. There's nothing more turn off than bringing her to a roadside stall then let her pay for your drinks while you only pay for your own food. 

Even if you don't intend to pay for her drinks, at least you can act like you wanted to. Reach out for your wallet and if she beat you to it, then it's your treat. All she needed to see was your effort. 

Related: Who Should Pay On A First Date?

4. Chivalry Is Not Dead

Oh, this is my favourite point. 

It is basically respect/politeness towards women. Feminists don't like it because they see it as somehow degrading to women. I on the other hand am all in for chivalry. 

Standing aside to allow a lady to go first, holding doors for ladies, giving up your seat to a lady, walking on the outside of the pavement (to protect the lady from mud/water thrown up by passing traffic or snatch thieves), holding a chair at the dining table for a lady to sit down, etc etc. 

I can guarantee you, little things like this are very very important. When the night ended, it's those little things that she remembered. Chivalry is so dead because not many men practiced it anymore but if you do, you'll be remembered for life. 

Related:11 Attractive Things Guys Do Without Even Realizing

5. Compliment Her

It wouldn't hurt to say something nice about her. Sometimes we brushed it off but we all secretly like compliments don't we? We like it when people take notice of our appearance. 

Say something nice like "You look great" or "I love your shirt". A little compliment goes a long way. 

Related: 49 Ways To Compliment A Woman, Other Than "You're Pretty"

6. The Power Of Touch

When a person touches another person, they communicate nonverbally. We also feel more connected to someone if they touch us. 

This is quite tricky as physical contact can be creepy. You have to observe her body language. 

Generally, from the shoulder down to the hand are the only acceptable areas for touch. So how do you go about touching someone (non-sexual of course). 

Try accidentally brush past her arms or hands and see if she is open to touch or does she pull away? Is she relaxed or tense? If she doesn't flinch or slap you, then she is comfortable with it. 

A little touch like putting your hand on her back when you let her walk out of the door first makes a girl felt protected.

Related: How To Appropriately Touch During A Date

7. Watch Your Body Language

I once had someone talking to me over his shoulder with his back towards me, while crossing his arms. 

Not a good first impression. Cocky indeed. 

Talking to her while crossing your arms is a sign that you are closing and distancing yourself as if you are not interested in her. It says you are not open and receptive. 

When she talked, look at her and pay attention. Fiddling with your phone just shows you would rather be somewhere else than with her. 

So what to talk about? Find a common ground, find out her passion or things she likes, and ask her about it. She'll be impressed when you are interested in things she is passionate about. 

I was once on a date with a guy. While he wasn't exceptionally good-looking, he was the epitome of chivalry. We only went for a movie but he made quite an impression on me. 

He made sure I walked on the inside of the pavement, walked side by side instead of in front of me, let me in the elevator first while holding the door, really listened when I talked, and made sure I wasn't cold in the cinema (even though he himself was shivering). 

Turns out to be the best first date so far. 

First dates can be unnerving but it's not that hard if you know the ways around it.

While I do not speak for other girls, but I'm sure most girls would agree with me. It's not about flaunting your good looks or money, it's about how you made her feel. I find this Wikihow article quite good. 

Good Luck!