Rasanya diri CPPS ini magnet lelaki self-righteous bermulut puaka la kot kan.
Calm your titties CPPS. What the heck happen?
Okay meh hakak nak story sikit.
Uols yang follow IG CPPS, tau lah kan hobi iols yang suka post gambar makanan kat IG story. Heck. Even my bio says
"Fit(ish) - I like the idea of being fit but likes food equally"
Which means I'm not that annoying health freak who torture themselves and others around them by depriving themselves from one of the greatest joy of life, which of course is FOOD la.
Come on. Takkan seks kot. Wakakaka. uncensored but who cares.
Well, for those of you who have not followed me on IG, here's my IG handle @dontbotherfollowing. Kidding. Pegi carik sendiri.
So anyway, as it happens, I don't really post my post-workout selfie, workout videos or any selfies at the gym because I really couldn't be bothered!
I go in, I exercise, I sweat like crazy with hair all over the place, I'm tired AF and the last thing I wanted to do is selfie acah-acah hot depan cermin berhashtag #donefortoday #healthybodyhealthymind.
I admire people who are that
All I'm thinking after gym is "Shiobihhh lapar gila. Apa nyaman mok makan oh"
So as quick as I got in, I got out quicker because food is calling.
What inspired this heartfelt blog post is, not only I'm tormented by real life annoying fitness freaks which you can read about HERE, HERE or HERE, I'm haunted by them in my social media life too.
Wade efffff!
So berbalik kepada cerita IG story iols tadi tu, kita namakan kenalan IG iols ni sebagai Anuar la okay. Dia ni pengikut tegar IG story CPPS.
Beberapa kali jugak dia komen "Asyik makan je. Pegi gym tak?"
Eeeeiii nak je aku carut dia ni tau.
"Ehhh seboklah. Iols tak post gambo pegi gym, tak semestinya ai tak pegi gym. You tu sebelum nak komen, tengok cermin dulu puhleaseeee. Yihhh! ada hati nak komen orang macam tu padahal dia sendiri pun bukan pegi gym"
Of course lah iols carut dalam hati. Wakakaka.
Itu satu.
Kemudian ada lagi satu mamat health freak kenalan IG jugak, kita namakan dia Clay. Postings dia tak lain tak bukan, gym, weights, gambar protein shaker + fat burner berhashtag #stayfit #healthylife #strongmind.
And those pictures of unappetizing steamed broccoli and chicken breast. *roll eyes*
Clay ni macam Anuar jugak, suka memberi komen yang "membina" apabila iols post gambar makanan.
"Zumba time" or "ada zumba ka lepas makan?" every time!
What the freaking eff?!?
Ai kenot!! So ai sound dia berlapik dan penuh berhemah
"Come on. cuti time." It was a video of my friends and I having dinner at Chilis, on a public holiday eve.
"Hahaha. Erk? Cuti time?"
"Ya lah. Hari ni public holiday kan. So why not, dinner and catch up with friends. Lama dah tak hang out. Takkanlah everyday gym workout makan ayam rebus. Hidup mesti balance :)"
Nampak tak iols carut berlapik dan penuh berhemah. Wakaka
I always post pictures of food, doesn't mean I'm always pigging out, stuffing my face with food.
And when I don't post pictures of myself at the gym, doesn't mean I did not exercise.
And those who know me, know that I almost never finish my food pun. Most of the time, I only eat half. The other half, I take away or my friends help to finish.
Ada seorang pakcik ni tempat iols selalu beli karipap pagi-pagi pernah cakap
"Perempuan ni tak makan banyak tapi diorang banyak makan"
Wow pakcik you so wise. Sembah ratu.
It's true. Banyak makan tak semestinya makan banyak. Orang yang bijak ja faham statement ni. kalau tak faham, please pegi duduk kat sudut bilik hantuk kepala kat dinding 3 kali. Shuhhh!
Anyway, don't be that ANNOYING health freak.
The rest of us have a life. And if you don't, no need to drag us into that hell hole steamed-chicken-breast-must-workout-everyday you call life.
Read this super FUNNEHH article on annoying health freaks. 100% agreed.
You think I'm done?
No. There is another annoying story i have to tell uols.
I workout alone most of the time and sometimes I really dread it because I've got no protection from unwanted advances at the gym.
Okay so nak dijadikan cerita, ada satu hari tu iols workout la kan sorang. Hari sabtu so gym agak lengang.
Masa tengah duduk, cool down dan lepaskan lelah, si personal trainer ni kita namakan dia Kay datang tegur iols.
Kay ni selalu la jugak tegur hi hi bye bye, "eh you, GNC sekarang ada promotion Nitrotech kan" that kind of conversation la kan.
Tapi hari ni baik punya topik dia kasi CPPS
"eh cyn, you dah lama kan join gym. Boleh tau tak apa goals you?"
Arghhh sudah.
"I takde specific goal. I datang gym, zumba just for destress, berpeluh."
And then dia tanya apa workout I selalu buat, how's my diet. bla bla bla.
"You tak terfikir nak improve yourself? Set a goal, buat satu routine untuk achieve goal tu. I'm not saying YOU ARE FAT, but you tak nak ke improve your body composition, be your best shape. Tukar diet you, buat intermittent fasting, calorie deficit and kita boleh buat satu program, workout routine to build muscle."
Sorry not interested. You lost me at FAT and DIET. Lols.
Nice try bruh. CPPS tau dia cuba nasib untuk jual package personal training dia so iols tak kecam dia pun.
Cumanya ai kenal sangat diri ai ni. I tak boleh commit to personal training yang at least 3 times a week and I'm not a fan of restrictive diet or any diet at all.
So uols nampak kan, my life is a constant stream of annoying health freaks. Yippe what a joy.
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