Life Is A Lemon-Throwing Party

It's been quite sometime isn't it? 

Blogging really needs time and above all, motivation of which i'm lacking right now. Work take most of my time, my laptop needed to be reformatted and throw in few other things, hence the absence of updates.

Until my PIC said. "Oi. update your blog la."

Thank you. At least i know i have readers. and somebody actually miss me (or my rantings). 

Brace yourself. This post is laden with disappointments and frustrations. Because well, life do throw you lemons right at your face. Me included.

Lost my appetite and unknowingly lost some weight too, bontot pun sudah kempis. There goes my squats and leg press.

It has been an emotionally draining few weeks. 

Sometimes when you feel you are contented and feeling like you have everything, that's when the rug is swept out from under your feet and you tumble and fall. 

And you have to pick yourself up again and pick up all the pieces. It's really disappointing when things change. 

People change and there's nothing you can do about it. When someone wanted to be with you, nothing can keep them away but when they don't want to be with you, nothing you can do to make them stay. Depressing. 

Cue Celine Dion's song "All By Myself".....

Even more depressing is I'm all alone here. 

My close friends have gone back to their hometowns for greener pastures. Back for good. I got home to an empty house. I have no TV and no laptop (at that time). 

On my off days, i have no one to go out with. To tell you the truth, I was quite depressed. I felt so alone and lonely. 

I was thinking what happens if i needed medical help in the middle of the night? What happen if i fainted in the toilet, will anyone realize it?

Then I thought to myself, I probably should forget about my plan of working and gaining experience here in KL. Maybe I should go back to Kuching. 

At least I have my family there. Thank God I still have a job I can go to everyday. Otherwise I'll be locking myself in the room 24/7. 

My colleague said I have a happy-go-lucky aura. I must be a very good actress then because all I do at home was cry (at that time).

I was lucky to be able to go home for a few days. I get to see my family and I was really happy to be able to just watch TV together with them at night. 

I was happy to be home. 

While i was there, I receive a bad news. 

An ex-classmate of mine passed away. He took his own life. 

He was the brightest student in my class and a few of us would always compete to get the highest ranking in class. He was our head prefect. 

After secondary school, we did not really kept in touch but without fail, he would send me Gawai and Christmas greetings and I would do the same. 

I last saw him 2 years ago when he said he's pursuing his Phd. Post-graduate studies can do so many things to you. It is very stressful and those who have been in that shoe would understand. 

I guess it's God's divine plan that I was in Kuching and was able to attend the wake and paid my last respect.

It's quite sad isn't it? 

You'll never know when is someone's last goodbye. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to tell those who mattered we loved them and showed that we care.

I guess we'll just have to look on the positive side then. To tattoo "Everything happens for a reason" on my forehead.

Today I felt better. Thank God for gym and dance fitness. Dancing once again kept me sane.

To think about it again, i do have everything. I have family and friends who supported me through anything. I have a roof above my head. I have food on my table and clothes on my back. For all that I'm thankful.

Now, somebody get me tequila and salt. I have lemons.