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What Heartbreak Taught Me


Aahh..Love. It keeps you alive, it kills you. No one goes into a relationship/marriage anticipating a broken heart. It's all wonderful in the beginning but somehow, some things were just not meant to be.  If you ever had your heart broken, it is the worst experience ever. It's worse than physical pain and affects your whole being. And if you say, heart break is not a big deal, get over it. You clearly didn't love that person deep enough.

I was chatting with a few friends the other day. Our story was almost similar and we were "fortunate" enough to experience this important life lesson, A Heartbreak. When we're in our heartbroken stage, we questioned why it has to happen? Where did i went wrong? Was i that unlovable that the other person just decided to dump me?

But as we looked back, all of us agreed that heartbreak made us wiser. Made us a better person. So what did i learnt from a heartbreak?

Here is my personal list:

1. Trust your instinct

In many things we do, we often ignore our instinct. When you are in a relationship, you know that trust is very important. Because you love and trust someone so much, you ignore that nagging feeling you had. That he/she is having an affair with someone else. He leaves his email open and because you trust him, you did not read anything and like a good person that you are, log it off for him. Or that hunch you get when you feel he /she has changed, pulled away emotionally and physically. Blaming something else for his/her behaviour. Trust your instinct.

2. You appreciate your friends and family more

 When the relationship is new, you would rather spend your time,energy and money on your significant other. Slowly, you stop seeing your friends or family. Your significant other became the most important person in your life now because you think he/she will be there for you no matter what. When they dump you, guess who came and be with you? Friends and family. My friends and family was there with me, supporting me emotionally and physically. It warms my heart that these people really care for me and love me for who i am, no matter what. I learn to appreciate them more and I'm eternally grateful for these amazing people.

3. That there are others you can treat you better

 Sometimes love blinded you.  Cinta itu buta and cinta juga bisa membutakan. When you grow comfortable with someone, you tolerate certain things. "Oh..dia tidak romantik. Dia selalu marah2 saya tapi dia memamg macam tu." Kononnya love someone unconditionally. Even when they did not treat you well. When you broke up, you think no one will love you again. No one will love you like how he/she loved you. Then you met someone else and realized  how poorly you were treated all these while because this new person appreciates you and treat like how you deserve to be treated.

4. We are responsible for our own happiness

 You think you can only be happy when you are in a relationship. You hope that someone can make you happy. You are so going to be disappointed. Happiness is in your own hand. We must chose to be happy. When you learn to be happy on your own, then only you can be happy in a relationship. You cannot go into a relationship hoping that person will make you happy.

5. Stand up for yourself

 I was really stupid to let someone walk all over me. No matter how unfair i was treated or even if it wasn't my fault, i take it all in. Maybe he was really manipulative and i was stupid not to be brave enough and stand up for myself. I learnt to be firm and not let people take advantage of me. When you think you are not treated as you deserved to be treated, don't hesitate to walk out.

6. Have your own life and passion

 Sometimes because you really wanted to be with someone, you sacrificed everything. You stop going out with your girlfriends because he doesn't like it. You stop doing certain things you loved because he/she doesn't like it. In the end, you lose yourself. Your life revolves 100% around him/her. If someone does not support your passion, hobby or dreams, then he/she is not the right person for you. Someone who truly loves you will want to see you grow, will want to see you successful and achieve your dreams.

7. It opens my eyes and pushed me to do certain things

 I realized after my heartbreak, i have done a lot of amazing things that i would not be doing if I'm still in a relationship. I approach everything with "WHY NOT?" I travelled to amazing places and thought to myself, i should have done this ages ago! I became the best version of myself in terms of physically (oh well you know how when you are in a relationship you tend to let yourself go). Back into the dating game and met a lot of interesting people and learnt so much from them. The experience and lessons i gained is invaluable!

8. It teaches you what you want or don't want in a relationship

 or what you are willing to tolerate for that matter. Because you know what you want and don't want, don't settle for less. Be with someone who accepts you truly for who you are, not someone he thinks you should be. It's better to dislike for who you are than to be like for who you are not. If he makes you feel that you are not good enough, it's his problem.





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