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Hi Papak, How Are You?

This was a picture taken at Kuching Airport when my dad sent me off to KL for my degree in UM. He must have been very proud of me. i wonder if he is proud of the choices I made and where I am today. This was in 2004, just 2 years before he passed away. Looking at this pic only I realized that he looked quite thin.
The other day, I was seating alone among the lunch crowd in a cafetaria when a middle age man, probably in his late 50s sat a table opposite me.

He was dressed casually in jeans and shirt, carrying a backpack. Slowly sipping his hot tea and eating some kueh from a plastic bag.

And this thought suddenly enters my mind

"If my dad is still around, he would definitely look like that having his tea and  while running around doing his business."

Just a few days ago, this memory of a moment came up.

It was years ago when I was home for my semester break. It was teatime and I was being ambitious making kuih lapis and popia goreng. My dad flips open the tudung saji, sneaked one popia naughtily

 and said

"Wah sedapnya. I like to eat what you made"

It has been 12 years but tears sprang to my eyes. 

Mannn. I gotta stop this habit of tearing up in public but today I really can't help it.

I miss having a father figure around.

When you lost a loved one, over time you accept the fact that they are gone but the truth is the sadness and longing is still there.

You will always wonder how different things would be if they are still around.

Time, I learnt, will not heal. It will only teach us how to live with the pain.

Papak, I hope you, Apai Frankie, Akik and the rest are doing great up there.

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