It's true that we shouldn't care about what people think of us but it's funny how people always assumed the worst of you. It is also true that what they think of something reflects what is going on in their life/head.
Ni Cik Panda nak cerita la manusia-manusia bermulut puaka yang iols pernah jumpa dalam hidup Cik Panda ni.
Zaman jahiliah Cik Panda dulu, Cik Panda berbadan gempal. Dah la gemok, hitam, hodoh plak tu. Cacian dan kutukan sudah menjadi makanan ruji iols la. So nak dijadikan cerita, bila sambung belajar jauh dari famili, badan iols semakin hari semakin susut sebab homesick, stress and busy study disamping mula mementingkan penampilan.
Suatu hari tu, sampailah ke telinga iols, satu cerita yang kurang sedap didengar pasal kenapa iols kurus tapi boobies maintain. Paling bikin panas sebab cerita ni keluar dari mulut saudara sendiri.
"Alah si anu tu, tiba-tiba kurus tapi nenen besar sebab dia tu pregnant, lepas tu dia gi gugurkan kandungan."
WADAFAK?!?!?
memang mulut puaka.
Fast forward to more than 10 years later.
Adalah sorang nok ni tiba-tiba cakap kat Cik Panda
"Ehh nok. engko lain la sekarang. Dah besar."
Iols pun depressed la sekejap kan sebab ingat dia cakap iols dah gemok kan.
Then few weeks later terserempak lagi dengan dia
"Nookk!! Ye nok. engko lain la sekarang. betul-betul lain. Dah besar"
"Ishhh apa yang lain ni nok? Apa yang besar?"
"Tuu tuuu..tetek uols dah lain. dah besar. Uols main ehhhh?" sambil kenyit-kenyit mata.
Huk alohh. Kalau dah nama lelaki, walau nok sekalipun tetap tetek menjadi pujaan.
Lepas tu pulak, beberapa hari lepas terserempak dengan seorang kenalan ni
"Ehh apasai you silakang gumuk? itu hali saya mali kurus. You pregnant ah?"
Why the first thing that come to their mind is pregnancy or sexual activity?
PREGNANT CELAH MANA? MAIN CELAH MANA?
Female's body weight or boobs size fluctuate all the time depending on a lot of factors. Boobs, for example, can increase up to 1 cup size prior to menstruation.
What if on that day, my boobs swell so much and it happens that I'm wearing a push up bra?
Does it mean I just had a fun time in the sack last night?
Or they can also increase in size when you gain weight, which in this case
"Congratulations fat cells for choosing the right part of the body to be in!!"
Well, what if I'm bloated because of any reason and it made me look fat?
Well, at least if i'm pregnant, I know that I'm fertile and capable of procreating.
Honestly, at this age and with my current love life, I'm starting to wonder if I will ever get pregnant and have a family of my own.
By the way, fasting month is always a very challenging time for us, the non-chinese-non-Indian residing in the peninsular.
So ada satu hari tu, Cik Panda bersama Cik Pah membeli makanan di food court. Si mamat mamak yang mulut puaka jaga kat situ boleh pulak cakap macam ni
"Dia ini jahat." obviously referring to me
"Ehh saya memang jahat pun."
Cik Pah pulak senyum-senyum and tanya mamak tu
"Kenapa you cakap dia jahat?"
"Dia jahat sebab dia tak pakai tudung." dengan muka confident.
Haaa Cik Panda dah mula senyum sinis dan pura-pura buat muka confuse.
"Ehh. Kenapa kena pakai tudung?" sambil senyum innocent.
"Ye lah. Muslim kena la pakai tudung. Kalau tak pakai, jahat lah."
"Eh kenapa kena pakai tudung? Saya bukan muslim."
TETTTTT... dia buat muka malu. Lain kali jangan main terjah buat assumption tak bertempat ye. Ingat ni rancangan Melodi TV3 ke main terjah-terjah?
And then, this one guy, a young guy at that, followed me on Instagram. Somehow we exchanged phone number but we never really talked.
One day I was scrolling through Instagram and he posted a photo of a girl with a neck full of love bites with the caption "Sorry. Tak tahan semalam"
Budak-budak baru nak up sangat kan. pastu post benda merepek macam tu sah-sah la iols unfollow.
Out of the blue, he called me up one night and we chatted for a bit. Then he asked
"Tadi berbuka makan apa?"
"Emm tak berbuka sebab tak puasa pun"
"Eh kenapa tak puasa?"
"Kena puasa ke you?"
"Ehh kenalah. Kita sebagai umat Islam kene la menunaikan kewajipan."
Ahhhh Cik Panda sudah mula senyum sinis.
"Oh ye? Tapi I bukan Muslim."
"Err err. ye ke? I ingat you Melayu. habis tu you apa?"
Iols malas cakap banyak, bagi alasan busy banyak kerja padahal tengah menggangkang tengok tv sambil makan keropok, then hang up.
Tau nak tarbiyah Cik Panda pasal kewajipan puasa tapi macam mana pula soal batas pergaulan lelaki dan perempuan muslim bila dah buat love bite tu?
Nampak tak betapa sempitnya pemikiran mereka? Cik Panda tak tau la nak cakap sempit ke ignorant.
Kadang-kadang Cik Panda malas nak membazirkan sel-sel otak bagi explanation yang Malaysia ni bermasyarakat majmuk, berbilang bangsa dan agama. Bukan cuma ada Melayu, Cina dan India sahaja.
Dan bila seseorang itu "bermuka melayu" tidak bermaksud dia melayu ataupun beragama Islam.
Ataupun bila dia berpakaian seperti seorang gadis, dia perempuan.
Ataupun dia macho, hensem dan sado, dia taste kat perempuan.
Ehh. Lari topik.
Pendek kata, don't assume. Keep your mind open.
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