Makcik Puaka Part 2

Makcik Puaka kembali! If you missed the origin of makcik puaka, click here to read about it.

Kisah makcik puaka seterusnya adalah separa benar dan separa rekaan. Cik Panda amat yakin gegadis dan teruna berumur 25 tahun ke atas yang belum berkahwin selalu berdepan dengan makcik puaka begini.

Umum tahu yang Cik Panda sudah 2 kali dilangkah bendul, adik beradik iols dah sampai jodoh la kan.

Nak dijadikan cerita, masa majlis adik Cik Panda baru-baru ni, Cik Panda tengah duduk tersipu-sipu tak berapa nak malu dikalangan makcik, pakcik, sepupu dan sepapat iols la. Makcik puaka pulak membuka mulut dan bertanya

"Hah, engko tu pulak bilanya nak kahwin?"

Cik Panda berpura-pura buat pekak tak dengar soalan

Tak berputus asa lagi rupanya makcik puaka ni. Ditanya nya lagi soalan yang sama. Maka Cik Panda dengan muka manis selamba menjawab

"Kalau tak Jumaat, Sabtu la tapi tahun ntah bila."

"Kurang asam punya budak!" Dia gelak-gelak. Okay. Cik Panda ingat habis disitu cerita ni.

Rupanya makcik puaka ni memang patut menang Determination Award. Determine to annoy me that is.

Ketika majlis berlangsung, makcik puaka ni berborak pulak dengan makcik tak berapa puaka.

"Eh engko tahun ni 31 tahun kan, sama kan dengan anak si makcik tak berapa puaka ni. Bila lah nak kahwin. Jadi BUJANG TERLAJAK kang. HA. HA. HA"

Cik Panda buat muka bodo, diam je. Padahal dalam hati rasa macam nak karate je makcik nih

Jodoh, ajal maut tu semua ditangan Tuhan. Iols takde pun tanya uols bila nak mati kan. Iols rilek je tak risau apa, yang orang lain dok sibuk-sibuk risau, tanya-tanya bila iols nak kahwin tu kenapa?

Kalau dah sampai jodoh, dah ada calon tau la Cik Panda nak kahwin kan.

Dah tu bangga anak masing-masing dah kahwin bagai. Eh ada anugerah ke uols kalau anak uols kahwin awal ke bercucu awal ke?

Duduk diam-diam sudah. Ke uols berbulu mata tengok weols gojes mojes takut weols rampas laki uols ke? Ehhhh tak kuasa la weols.

Biarlah iols jadi BUJANG TERLAJAK sekalipun, janji iols gojes mojes, ada kerja ada duit sendiri, boleh travel tengok dunia, ngedate kiri kanan tak kacau hidup orang lain pun. Yang orang lain tak senang bontot tengok weols tu dah kenapa?

"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."
- Sex and the City

In your face makcik puaka!

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Tajuk mengundang kontroversi Sis ni bukan apa rajin pergi gym, selain nak bersenam, iols juga suka mencuci mata. Bukan setakat mencuci mata dengan jantan helok (I'm still hoping sebab gym iols pegi tu SENDUU), sis juga suka melihat gegadis yang fefeeling gedik dengan bermacam fesyen di gym tu. Biasanya gegadis newbie ni macam cendawan. Muncul sekejap di kala azam baru masih utuh yakni di awal tahun atau selepas perayaan di mana memasing nak kurus. Tunggulah 2 bulan kemudian langsung tak nampak batang hidung ataupun buttcheeks. Eh? Sebenarnya salah satu benda Cik Panda nak cerita pasal butt cheeks. Butt cheeks are absolutely NO NO except at the pool or beach when you are in your swimsuit. Cik Panda tak jealous la uols sebab Cik Panda tak hingin pun nak ada bontot yang jelly welly tu. ZAssssss So hari tu ada sorang minah ni baru 1st time iols nampak kat gym, tengah workout dengan bopren dia la gitu. Pakai sports bra je dengan really short shorts yang menampakkan ...

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