Skip to main content

Berani Kau Mengumpat Saya Depan-Depan?!


Menjadi kebiasan untuk Sarawakians and Sabahans untuk berbahasa lebih daripada satu bahasa sebab budaya kami yang pelbagai. Plus there are so many mixed marriages that Chinese can look like a Malay and a Malay looks like Chinese.

A lot of us speak Mandarin or other Chinese dialects like Hokkien, Hakka etc on top of our Bahasa Malaysia, Bahasa Sarawak, Bidayuh (jagoi, singai, biatah all have different language), Iban, Orang Ulu etc. Bila berkawan dengan Sabahan, we pick up Sabahan slang, bila duduk lama di semenanjung, boleh bercakap ikut style KAY-EL katanyaaa. 

Masa kecik-kecik, parents Cik Panda hantar adik beradik Panda pegi sekolah cina. I used to resent it because it's so difficult! My late father used to suscribe Chinese newspaper to improve our vocab but I never actually read them. 

When we were young, me and my siblings converse in Mandarin at home.

When I was in secondary school, majority of my classmates and good friends are Chinese so I continued to practise speaking Mandarin. My Mandarin gets rusty when I was in Matriculation and Uni. But I can still comprehend Mandarin.

In my daily social and working life, I seldom let people know I understand Mandarin. On many occasions, immediately after they knew, the first thing they always say is 

"Aiyoo. Luckily I didn't say something bad about you."

There was one particular incident many years ago that I remembered to this day. Me and bunch of Borneoan friends who mostly speaks Mandarin were at a shop, conversing in Malay when we heard the girl at the cashier talking about us in Mandarin

"What are those people ah? Malay is it?"

"Looks like Malay. Maybe they are Malay who eats pork." then giggled and teruskan mengumpat.

Apalagi, weols mula la buat plan jahat. Tiba-tiba masing-masing bercakap bahasa Mandarin. The look on their faces i tell you, PRICELESS!! 

Nah lain kali mengumpat belakang-belakang.  

At work, I always converse in English and BM unless among Chinese tourists who had zero understanding of English. Among local customers, I'll just kept quiet and pretend not to understand a thing when they speak Mandarin. 

There was one particular customer, jenis tidak faham bahasa. Orang cakap company policy to give this certain discount, masih juga mau argue. So she started to talk to her friend in Mandarin

"Oh yesterday I saw the new batch. I know she lied to me, she purposely didn't want to give it to me. We go buy in other place la. Sure they will give more discount."

I told her again, in English, it's the same policy in the outlets because it's the same company.

Then she babbles to her friend again

"Bluff lah. I'm sure there we can negotiate more." and more BS.

Iols panas hati dah ni. Dia ingat kita tak paham apa dia cakap. Apalagi, iols balas la dlm bahasa Mandarin

"Mem, bukan kita taknak bagi. We are bound by company policy. Kalau boleh bagi dah lama saya bagi."

Makcik memang jenis kiasu kan dia jawab kita balik dlm bahasa Mandarin.

"Company policy amende! Korang ni nak bisnes ke taknak bisnes? Nak duit ke taknak duit. Baik pegi beli kat tempat lain!" and walked out. Aishhh makcik buat lawak. Pergilah try nasib kat tempat lain tu. 

Well, of course there are other benefits of being multi-lingual. One time, I went to this tailor and spoke Malay initially. When I came to collect my things, I spoke Mandarin to her and she gave me discounts. yeay!

Then on one occasion at work, this Korean customer wanted to speak to someone who speaks Mandarin. So I attended him and ended up buying RM5000 worth of products and told them 

"I bought all this because of her."

And he continues to patronize our outlet.

I couldn't thank my parents enough for sending us to Chinese school. 

Moral of the story is, lain kali kalau mau mengumpat, mengumpat belakang-belakang. Ingat orang muka Malay tak faham Bahasa Mandarin? Or mat salleh tak paham bahasa Melayu?

Comments

Others Also Read This!

Porn Puaka Di Gym

Tajuk mengundang kontroversi Sis ni bukan apa rajin pergi gym, selain nak bersenam, iols juga suka mencuci mata. Bukan setakat mencuci mata dengan jantan helok (I'm still hoping sebab gym iols pegi tu SENDUU), sis juga suka melihat gegadis yang fefeeling gedik dengan bermacam fesyen di gym tu. Biasanya gegadis newbie ni macam cendawan. Muncul sekejap di kala azam baru masih utuh yakni di awal tahun atau selepas perayaan di mana memasing nak kurus.  Tunggulah 2 bulan kemudian langsung tak nampak batang hidung ataupun buttcheeks. Eh? Sebenarnya salah satu benda Cik Panda nak cerita pasal butt cheeks. Butt cheeks are absolutely NO NO except at the pool or beach when you are in your swimsuit.  Cik Panda tak jealous la uols sebab Cik Panda tak hingin pun nak ada bontot yang jelly welly tu. ZAssssss So hari tu ada sorang minah ni baru 1st time iols nampak kat gym, tengah workout dengan bopren dia la gitu. Pakai sports bra je dengan really short shorts yang menampakkan ...

5 Produk Kurus Di Watsons: Jom Kita Review Bahan- Bahan Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk

5 Produk Kurus Di Watsons: Jom Kita Review Bahan- Bahan Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk   Adakah anda antara orang yang pernah beli produk kurus sebab terpengaruh dengan iklan atau testimoni kawan-kawan? Beli tapi kenapa ya tak kurus-kurus?  Okay takpa sis, kita try pulak produk lain. Produk X ni orang cakap bagus, maka korang pun terpengaruh lepas tu beli lepas tu tak nampak result. Frustrating kan? Badan tak kurus pun, yang kurus tu dompet uols je. Produk kurus memang sentiasa laku sepanjang zaman. Kat mana-mana pun ada jual, banyak sangat kat pasaran.  Tapi macam mana kita nak tau yang mana okay, yang mana tak okay dan bazir duit je nak beli? Ha, kenalah jadi pengguna yang bijak sisturs & brother sekalian. Ambik tahu apa bahan-bahan yang terkandung dalm produk tu, fahami macam mana produk ni membantu untuk menurunkan badan.  Baca:  Kenali Bahan Lazim Yang Terkandung Dalam Produk Kurus Atau Fat Burner Barulah kita tidak senang terpengaruh dengan iklan at...

Gym Is My Boyfriend

So the other day my partner in crime tag me in a photo that she says reminds her of me. It described me to a T. Gym is not my new boyfriend. It always has been my boyfriend.   Unlike most guys that I met, the gym does not give empty promises, does not disappoint, never demands, always leaves you satisfied, made me feel beautiful and sexy, made me a better person physically, mentally, and emotionally.  And never try to get into my panties. I'm such a gym junkie that most of the time, I schedule my social life, even dating around my fitness classes.  I clicked with a guy on Tinder. Despite the fact that he's obviously just wanted to get into my pants, we got on really well pretty fast and he really wanted to see me. My typical response to anyone who wanted a slice of my time would be  "I'll only be free on Monday and Thursday evenings. Other days I'll be working and gyming. If you really want to see me, it's either after gym or you come to my workp...

Lelaki Gersang Bernafsu Puaka

Lelaki Gersang Bernafsu Puaka Kawan-kawan Cik Panda selalu cakap  "Waaahhh untungla you. Ramai lelaki nak kat you." Arghhh itu semua ketahian.  Kalau nak kat weols tapi niat tak ikhlas buat apa kan. Kalau tertarik dengan rupa fizikal Cik Panda baik tak payah. Rupa fizikal boleh berubah, esok-esok kalau Cik Panda dah tak gojes mojes mau lagi ke orang tu dengan Cik Panda? Sedangkan pantai pun berubah, inikan pula hati manusia.  Gituuuuu. Cik Bear, kawan kepada Cik Meow cakap "Cik Panda tu memang lah cantik, ada body semua tapi tu lah semua lelaki nak kat dia sebab body dia. ha tu lah buat badan lagi." Cik Panda buat badan untuk kepuasan diri sendiri uols. Kepuasan yang macam ni ha "You can look but you can't touch." katanyaaa Cik Panda tak boleh la nak halang orang yang tergoda tengok tapi rimas lah iols nak menapis lalat-lalat bernafsu serakah ni.  Sebab tu Cik Panda perlukan bodyguard/gym buddy/boyfriend upahan/tunang upahan.  G...

Guide To First Dates For Dummies

Guide To First Dates For Dummies While I'm not exactly an expert in relationships, first dates, and stuff, I've had a few learning experiences and a panel of consultants.  I feel the need to share with you, especially guys, a few do's and don'ts of a first date.  Basically to give you some idea of what girls expect on a first date and to save you from embarrassment and disappointments from not securing a second date.  1. Dress To Impress DO NOT underestimate the power of dressing. You only have one chance at making a good first impression.  You don't have to wear something expensive or trendy. Just something tidy, presentable, smart, or casual. Something you are comfortable in. Jeans, a nice shirt and shoes would be fine.  No short pants, slippers, and ratty t-shirts. If you want to wear shorts, wear them with a shirt (with collar) and shoes instead. Hair should be presentable, facial hairs trimmed and tidy, no bad breath or body odour.  Use cologn...